aquarion

aquarion @ 2012-05-27T17:21:00

2012-05-27T16:22:30Z

Oh I’ve been a filk writer, for many a year.

And committed rhymes that have caused many tears.

But I now make a promise from down in my core,

That I never will filk the wild rover no more.

So it’s no, nay never (Improvise here)

No nay never, no more!

Well I’ll filk the wild rover,

no never, no more.

The original’s useful, the rhyming scheme’s grand,

but you never will hear it where filking folks stand.

The closest you’ll get’s where the song is sworn off,

or another well themed one that’s ripped from whole cloth.

So it’s no, nay never (Promise I’ll not)

No nay never, no more!

Well I’ll filk the wild rover,

no never, no more.

But there’s versions for Star Wars, and Battlestar G,

Potter, or Tolkien, My Little Pony.

Try for the orig’nal, And what you’ll get comes

Directly from Harry Enfield and Chums.

So it’s no, Nay, never (Some git shouts “ARSE”)

No nay never, no more!

Well I’ll filk the wild rover,

no never, no more.

And so there’s this promise, I hope you’ll embrace.

To stop spreading this filk song all over the place.

And If this thing works, then the same trick I’ll try

for Lola, Boh Rap, and American Pie.

So it’s no, nay never (Music has died!)

No nay never, no more!

Well I’ll filk the wild rover,

no never, no more.

(I realise I promised, and then promise broke.

But it really did not work as a one verse joke.

So I hope you’ll forgive me my sin of the song.

Don’t think I can stop your head singing along)

To the No, Nay, Never (This one’s the last)

No nay never, no more.

For I’ll Filk the Wild Rover.

Not ever, no more.

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aquarion @ 2012-05-14T20:28:00

2012-05-14T19:31:57Z

It turns out that three hours sleep turns me into a ratbag not fit for human contact.

A whiny ratbag.

I'm offline until I repair this. Have a cat gif:

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Riots

2011-08-08T21:57:21Z

Since reassurance is handy: Yes, we live quite close to where the police cordons are. Yes, we're fine, there's been nothing (touch wood) within earshot of the flat, although it would have been quicker for me to get to Manchester than back to the flat this evening.

Incidentally, Rioters. "Protesters" is a level of credit too far. Fuck The Police isn't a protest. Kicking in the windows of Footlocker isn't a protest, it's looting. And the next time a pundit condemns "Social Networking" for coordinating the riots in the opposite tone of voice they used when they were praising "Social Networking" for being a seminonymous backchannel for working against authority a few months ago, I'll... ... shout at the newscast some more.

I've got more to say on this, starting with how it felt to be walking though Hackney this evening, but for now. We're safe. Stay safe.

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aquarion @ 2011-07-26T11:14:00

2011-07-26T10:15:10Z

Ladies and Gentlefolk,

On behalf of everybody at the New Grunsford News, we would officially like to apologise without reservation or fear of distraction, for getting caught hacking your phones.

It was not a path we trod deliberately, or even realised we were doing it at the time, but one day one of our reporters - I forget who - phoned up a source for a story and got his messaging service and, in rage and frustration, accidentally typed in the default code that the operator uses for all people who haven't set the PIN on their messages. He then, accidentally, listened to all those messages, recorded them on a dictaphone he accidentally held distressingly close to the speaker of his phone, and then - with an absence of deliberation that he would come to regret forever - converted them to MP3 format, saved them to the company intranet, and authorised for a transcription service to turn them into text. A terrible and complete accident such as this undoubtably is, we cannot but hope, merely the striking lightning of misfortune. Such an act of inattentiveness could never befall the same company twice, you would think. Alas, that was not to be so. It was barely a week later when another reporter with such terrible luck that cannot be imagined fell victim to the same such series of events, but with the added misfortune of deleting some of the messages in the process.

We explain this in such depth to demonstrate the whims of misfortune and technology that we have been subjected to. I mean, who within our number hasn't fallen victim to a paper jam just when your deadline is approaching. There was no way we could possibly have known, or could be held culpable for such an act of fate. That we appeared to have put money aside to pay off the results of our actions was merely an act of accountancy we were unaware of, and the mislabelling of our church orphans roof repair fund compounded the error. We apologise for all the poor, damp orphans who are now being rained on as a result of us having to repurpose the fund.

In conclusion, despite the fact this was nothing but a misunderstanding done in the aid of the public interest and was good and worthwhile journalism although it was, as you see, a complete accident I couldn't have predicted and known anything about, we are humbly sorry, and will shut down the newspaper and move all the reporters to a new - but entirely different - newspaper. We hope you are sated by this public act of entirely genuine contrition.

Humbly yours,

J. Maddock esq.

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Recent haiku-form phrases from #maelfroth

2011-07-25T13:34:09Z

Which is also why // he actually said "you" and not // "you're" when he said it.

do you remember // soldier's hammer lyrics or // where they could be found?

Because I would be // totally playing an armed // archaeologist.

Well, if you do, cut // up the stripe, so it doesn't // leave an extra stripe.

I may very well // be in Oxford direction // for Art in Action.

This aint breaking rules, // this is about attracting // and keeping players.

dresses are awesome // climbs a tree and throws acorns // at Penny SQUIRREL!

I don't tend to be // good at revealing how mine // works generally though.

"and all their works come // to nothing and nobody // is ever HAPPY"

A concrete training // round from a Tornado might // be more suitable.

then I touched my arm // and it was freezing Might be // something to watch for.

We're down quite a few // crew this event, I believe. // Of various kinds.

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Brighton Breezy

2011-04-12T09:56:32Z

So, turns out that this Saturday I am in Brighton for a conference (IATEFL).

Current plan is to head down on Friday evening and return Saturday, but would anyone be able to give me crash space on Friday evening?

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Dungeons and Dragons

2011-03-10T12:06:44Z

So, we've been doing a D&D4 campaign for a little over a year now, at an event a month, and I'm beginning to lose track of what's happened between sessions, so I'm going to try and remember to do writeups.

( The Story So Far )

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aquarion @ 2011-02-11T06:54:00

2011-02-11T06:55:13Z

Fuck Year Hipster Ariel

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The book meme, again.

2011-02-10T00:05:54Z

So, the "Closest book" meme is going around again, this time "Page 56, Sentence 5", and it amused me because my current closest book is "The Wind in the Willow", and the passage it selects is actually particularly relevant to why it's close by, which is as reference material for Winter in the Willows, the larp set in a version of that universe that I've recently signed to help make happen. It's the Water Rat, on the subject of the Wild Wood:

"Besides, there are a hundred things one has to know, which we understand all about and you don't, as yet. I mean passwords, and signs, and sayings which have power and effect, and plants you carry in your pocket, and verses you repeat, and dodges and tricks you practise; all simple enough when you know them, but they've got to be known if you're small, or you'll find yourself in trouble."

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The Tenets of Tech Support

2011-02-01T17:36:33Z

(By the combined wisdom of Maelfroth)

Tenets of Tech Support

I: Have you tried turning it off and on?
II: Are you sure it's plugged in?
III: The customer cannot be right if they are on hold.
IV: If it's on fire, call the Fire Brigade, NOT US.
V: Proverbs 1:25-28
VI: Nah, it's fucked, get a new one.

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On achieving level 30

2011-01-26T07:11:38Z

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Someone Elses Cat

2011-01-18T13:15:25Z

The Moth is a thing in the states which is basically combative anecdote telling. It's quite likely, if you've met me in real life, that you will realise exactly how much this appeals to me, and I dearly wish it existed over here. Not quite enough to actually do something about it, though.

I mention it because this is an anecdote about Moth, and the reference amused me.

For a few weeks, between leaving Cambridge and moving into Reading, I was accidentally homeless for a little while. The house we were due to move into had gone off the market as we (me and S) were getting the deposit together, and so I ended up crashing at Pol & Supermouse's house for a little while.

I hate being a houseguest. As much as not having anywhere to run to, I feel that I'm imposing on everyone. I attempt to be useful within my parameters, which generally involves making endless cups of tea for people, and otherwise be minimal impact. It is good, however, to be useful, and to enhance my feelings of usefulness, I was employed by Moth the cat.

My role in Moth's life was simple. I was her method of getting in in the morning. I was handily sleeping right where she wanted me to be, and every morning she would stand on her back legs and tap-dance on the window until I woke up enough to open the screen door. Being woken up by a tapdancing cat is, the second time, adorable. The first time, it's just confusing. Sometimes I was called upon to do additional skritching duties, but it wasn't part of my primary skill-set, so generally I was only employed for my door opening skills.

It's good to be useful, occasionally.

Moth was put to sleep this morning, aged 15. Were I a more spiritual or perhaps just more soppy being, I'd put something here about "tap dancing on the door to heaven" or some pass on the oft-mocked Rainbow Bridge theory.

Instead I'll just say Moth will be missed.

Moth will be missed

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From the archives

2011-01-17T10:18:00Z

(It is occasionally remarked to me that I spend more effort on one-line jokes and things like roleplay group reminder notices than on anything else. I deny this quite often.

( As an example, this month's roleplay reminder )

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aquarion @ 2011-01-17T10:11:00

2011-01-17T10:13:50Z

So, we've now replaced most of the central parts of the boiler, except the electronics box (which Vlad The Installer assures me is the thing that usually dies).

The current broken part - down from the entire boiler, to the casserole dish thing, to the regulator - is reduced to a single sproingy spring that is part of the bit the hot water is heated in that doesn't give as much good sproing like a good spring should sproing, and which he is going to attempt to track down and install for us early this week.

The heating works after a fashion (The radiators heat up, but don't stay hot), but the act of turning on a hot tap cuts out the gas due to the unsproingy spring.

This post is brought to you by the number of days without hot water, which is 43, and the word "Sproingy".

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Heating Saga Continues

2011-01-14T11:34:58Z

Day 40 since the hot water went off.

Hot Water still not working. Heating works for a little while.

Have been promised plumber has the part and is coming around to repair the boiler this afternoon.

Not holding my breath.

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OOTS Book

2011-01-02T10:27:32Z

Hello,

At some point in the past couple of years, I lent out my copy of OOTS book zero, "On the Origin of PCs".

In fact, as I recall, I was returned a set of them, and then someone said "I haven't read that one" and I said "Well, would you like to borrow it, then?".

I have entirely forgotten who this "someone" was. So, if you have my copy of OOTS zero, could you comment here or send me an email or something? I don't mind, but I'd like to read it again :-D

On a related note, if you have lent me something and I have failed to return it, please comment here and I shall endeavour to fix this. My brain occasionally doesn't work, and it is entirely likely I have forgotten.

Comments are screened.

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aquarion @ 2010-12-20T06:58:00

2010-12-20T07:00:00Z

The heating has been off for two weeks as of yesterday.

I fixed the world being too cold by buying a heater on Saturday.

So I woke up this morning

and the water is off.

Yay.

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Signal boosting

2010-12-09T21:17:34Z

via apiphile

lulu.com →

Help: everyone needs it from time-to-time and Medecins Sans Frontieres provide it to the people in the world who need it the most. Twelve Tales of Healing is an anthology of twelve (and one spare, in case you need it) stories about getting better by thirteen different authors; some established, and some brand new. All profits from the sale of Help: Twelve Tales of Healing go directly to Medecins Sans Frontiere to help them to help those who really need it.

£11.99

This book features stories by marika_kailaya, cofmanynames, jumpthesnark, and strangecreature, and more besides. It has been published purely to raise money for Medecins Sans Frontiere, in order to help them save lives and improve the quality of life for people whose homes, families, and health have been destroyed by disease, natural disaster and war. They have no political affiliation and do not receive any government funding. Private donations from people like you ensure that they can continue to operate without politics getting in the way of their good work.

Buy! Pimp! Get one for a friend or family member this Christmas!

You'll get a professionally type-set book with a cover designed by strangefrontier, twelve amazing and uplifting stories and one bonus in case you weren't quite satisfied, and the warm feeling that you've just given money to a worthy cause at the same time as getting yourself a pocket full of stories to enjoy over the Christmas holidays.

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Friend Filters

2010-12-01T10:35:34Z

Do you trust your friends?

Do you trust all the people they trust?

And those people, the people your friends trust, the people that they trust? Do you trust them?

Online Communities, even large ones, have connection lines anywhere and everywhere

Your locked post isn't locked. Your private rant is logged.

And the person you hate, who ruined your life, who stole your cupcake?

Somebody, somewhere, loves them.

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aquarion @ 2010-11-30T17:16:00

2010-11-30T17:22:43Z

Bread is a god to all people, from the upper crust down to those who have the very yeast, he sees all in his leavenly light. Every flour, every tree. He sees every knead you have, but does not feel the need to prove himself to you. Some say that Hovis' time has passed, but no. Bread will rise again.

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aquarion @ 2010-11-30T14:59:00

2010-11-30T15:00:24Z

You know that thing where people post which books they are reading, so that they in the future can see when they read things?

Art Garfunkel has you beat.

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aquarion @ 2010-11-25T12:29:00

2010-11-25T12:57:56Z

Am watching Pixar short films.

They make me happy.

For The Birds made me cry with laughter, again.

Burn-E was just awesome.

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aquarion @ 2010-11-24T14:02:00

2010-11-24T14:05:14Z

Is your life bereft of assistance that swears at you?

None of the same people made these sites:

whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com/

thefuckingweather.com/

whatthefuckismysocialmediastrategy.com/

But the newest, and most useful, is by OxfordGirl (and the newest thing hosted on my server):

wherearemyfuckingkeys.com/

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aquarion @ 2010-11-12T17:24:00

2010-11-12T17:25:08Z

So, I was sitting on the steps that lead up from the road to my front door, when I get a phone call.

"Hi, this is Watir, I've been getting some weird readings from your area of the city. If you see anything odd, could you call me?"
"Sure" I say, and he hangs up.

Not five minutes later, there's an almighty crash, and a Delorean appears halfway though the steps!

The young driver is struggling to get out, so I make the phone call, and say...

( Read more... )

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A meme, instead of content

2010-11-10T21:09:19Z

"Ask me to take a picture of any aspect of my life that you're interested in or curious about - it can be anything from the house I live in to my favourite book. Leave your choice here as a comment, and I will post the pictures as a later entry. Feel free to make your requests as mundane or creative as you like!"

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